Monster Lake
Penny: Gosh, Scotland is beautiful, Uncle Gadget.
Gadget: It certainly is, Penny. This is where they make Scotch tape, you know.

Penny: Be careful, Uncle Gadget.
Gadget: I'm always careful, Penny. That's what makes me a great inspector.
(Gadget backs his car into a tree.)
Gadget: I'll never understand why they put trees in backup zones!

(Gadget drives into the lake.)
Gadget: They didn't say anything about rain today in the weather report.
(A fish swims by Gadget's windshield.)
Gadget: Hmm. Either that fish has a driver's license, or I'm underwater.

(Gadget is inside a giant metal monster, and runs into the kidnapped Professor Thumpkin.)
Gadget: Ah, Professor Thumpkin, I presume.
Dr. Claw: He's there all right…exactly where I want him! (laughs)
(MAD Cat laughs)
Claw: What are you laughing for? I did all the work!

Down on the Farm
(Gadget begins counting sheep as he tries to fall asleep.)
(Real sheep begin flying in through the house's window.)
Gadget: How convenient, this place has everything!

Gadget at the Circus
(An elephant is blocking the road.)
Gadget: Did you know you're blocking a public thoroughfare? I insist you remove yourself immediately. If you don't, I'll see you in traffic court.

(Gadget, after being thrown through the air, falls on his face.)
Penny: Are you all right?
Gadget: Of course I'm all right. A good detective is always on his nose…uh, his toes.

(Quimby is going incognito inside a popcorn cart.)
Gadget: Chief Quimby! When did you run away to join the circus?

Gadget: It's like I always say, Penny: If you can't lick 'em, join 'em. Then lick 'em.

(To the pussycat of a lion he's been training with.)
Gadget: Okay, Brutus, put on a good show and I'll see what I can do about getting you out of that cage on good behavior.

The Amazon
Gadget: When I'm following someone, I hate being followed!

(Claw's empty MADMobile pulls up in front of Gadget.)
Gadget: Well, what do you know? An Amazon taxi!

Health Spa
(Not realizing Quimby is standing behind the door when he opens it, Gadget accidentally shoves him into a filing cabinet.)
Gadget: [noticing him in the filing cabinet] Chief, I've heard of getting into your work, but this is ridiculous!

The Boat
(Gadget attempts to sneak onboard a ship but is interrupted by a pelican squawking.)
Gadget: Go away, bird. Go find a chicken to play with. This is a top-secret assignment.

(Gadget is falling rapidly through the sky.)
Gadget: Go go Gadget 'brella! Go go Gadget copter!
(His gadgets don't respond.)
Gadget: Go go Gadget anything!

Chief Quimby: Congratulations, Gadget. I don't know how you did it.
Gadget: Thanks, Chief. …That makes two of us.

Haunted Castle
(Brain breaks a sculpture, then dives inside Gadget's coat.)
Gadget: I know you're scared Brain, but try not to be so clumsy! These are probably priceless fake artifacts!

Race to the Finish
(Gadget has been drugged and is driving recklessly.)
Race Announcer: Something seems to be wrong with Number 35! Calling Inspector Gadget. Are you there?
Gadget: [giddy] No… I went out to lunch! (laughs drunkenly)

The Ruby
Claw: You're making monkeys out of my tigers, Gadget!

A Star Is Lost
(Gadget nearly sets off explosives wired to a set of drums.)
(Brain, disguised as a nurse, dive-tackles him out of the way.)
Gadget: Please, nurse… control yourself!

(Mechanical arms start flinging records at Gadget at high speed.)
Gadget: Wowsers! I should teach that nurse a thing or two about proper record care!

All That Glitters
Henrietta: May I have my picture taken with you, Professor Gizmo?
Gadget: That's… Inspector Gadget.

Amusement Park
(Gadget is playing a target-shooting game at the park.)
MAD Agent (as a game operator): This guy thinks he's a pretty good shot, don't he?
Penny: He's not a "guy," he's my uncle!

(Gadget misses the last target and doesn't win.)
MAD Agent/Game Operator: Aw, too bad, you missed the third duck.
Gadget: Too bad. I thought I saw the whites of its little eyes.

(Gadget realizes that an old woman was a MAD agent in disguise.)
Gadget: Stop that little old woman! She's not a woman! …And she's not old!

Art Heist
(The elevator Gadget was in crashes to the bottom of the shaft after MAD agents cut the cable.)
Gadget: I'd better call the maintenance department tomorrow morning. That elevator goes a touch fast!

Volcano Island
(While surfing, Gadget bumps into a dinghy with a seagull sitting on top of it.)
Gadget: What a stupid place to put a birdfeeder!

(At a luau, Brain is disguised as a hula dancer.)
Gadget: Hmm, I wonder where that little hula girl went.
(Brain runs off and drops a flower from his disguise.)
Gadget: Oh, there she goes. …And she dropped her flower! I'd better give it back to her! Stop! Come back! You dropped your flower!
(Brain, running, throws off the lei.)
Gadget: Now you've dropped your lei! …Come back! Little hula girl! …Huh?
(Gadget notices something on the ground and picks up the two-coconut top Brain was wearing.)
Gadget: This is getting serious! [covering his eyes] Little hula girl! Where are you?
(Gadget bumps into a tree.)
Gadget: You seem to have left your… [bump] …your clothes behind!
(Gadget trips and notices a grass skirt on the ground.)
Gadget: There are only two possibilities: either she finds it too warm tonight, or her clothes are too big! [closing his eyes] Oh, little hula girl! I've got your clothes! Please come here and put them on!

Map Trap
(Reading a note on the door of Police HQ.)
Gadget: "Closed until horrible crime is committed. Signed, The Chief."

The Invasion
Gadget: Now I'll prove to you that Martians are just an image of your figment. Uh, I mean a figure of your sensation. Well, you know what I mean.

(Claw thinks he has destroyed Gadget.)
Claw: I feel like singing!
(MAD Cat begins to hum)
Claw: I said I feel like singing!

(Chief Quimby is standing in a pond disguised as a tree.)
(Gadget, after reading the assignment, throws the self-destructing message into the water, at the Chief's feet.)
Quimby: [urgently] Not there, Gadget, I'm standing in water!!
(The message explodes, giving the Chief an electrical shock. Gadget then notices the tree sparking.)
Gadget: It's a little early for decorating your Christmas tree, isn't it, Chief?
Quimby: [pipe lodged in ear from explosion] Grrahhh! [grumbles as Gadget walks off]

(Gadget has caught a MAD agent disguised as an alien.)
Gadget: You can't be a Martian… I don't believe in Martians. You must be from Venus or someplace.

Gadget: This is ridiculous. An entire city leaves town because of a a few Martians.

The Emerald Duck
Penny: Thanks for helping me with my duck project for school, Uncle Gadget.
Gadget: I'm an old hand at ducks, Penny. Watch me use this duck caller to lure them closer so you can take a picture.
(Gadget blows into the duck call.)
Gadget: That ought to attract our little feathered friends. …Aha, there's one now!
(A moose comes charging through the swamp.)
Gadget: That's the second biggest duck I've ever seen!

(Chief Quimby, disguised as a duck, gets blown up by his message.)
Quimby: And it's not even duck season..!

(Gadget wanders into a room in an old temple.)
Gadget: Hmm, I wonder what this place used to be used for?
(A trap door triggers a giant boulder, which comes rolling towards Gadget.)
Gadget: I guess it used to be a bowling alley!

(Gadget runs into a booby-trapped secret room, which a hidden mechanism causes to begin filling rapidly with sand.)
Gadget: Look at all this sand! I guess somebody wasn't a very good housekeeper!

(Miguel has found the hidden weapon.)
Macho Miguel: Viva Claw! Viva MAD! …Viva me!

Bad Dreams Are Made of This
(Gadget meets the Chief outside the TV station after having blown up the bad-dream machine.)
Quimby: Congratulations, Gadget. I don't know how you did it. You destroyed Claw's dream machine.
Gadget: I don't know, Chief… it all just seems like a bad dream.
Quimby: Oh, I know what you mean.

Gadget's Roma
(To Gadgetorum, after two MAD agents promise them there's lunch for them at the top of a tall ladder.)
Gadget: We need to be polite if we want the sandwiches.

In Seine
Gadget: Say, when will your shop be open again so I can come by and get a new trench coat?
LaPoof: [getting arrested] Uh, in about 20 years.

Haunted Castle
Claw: This nasty Transylvanian atmosphere is good for my health.

Other Episodes
Gadget: This place is as empty as a graveyard on Halloween.

Gadget: Just what do you think you're doing?! Pleasure boating has no place on a busy river like this!

Inspector Gadget: I'm on assignment. I have to find out who's stealing those mansions.
Penny: I think the Chief meant that someone's stealing things from the mansions, Uncle Gadget.
Gadget: No, no, Penny, the Chief said mansions were being burglarized.

Gadget: This car is acting funny. Ah, of course, the emergency brake is on.

Penny: Look, Uncle, there's the water fountain.
Gadget: Well, it looks like a water fountain…
(Gadget gets squirted in the face)
Gadget: Just as I expected, it's a water fountain.

Gadget: An air show? Now why would anybody want to pay to see air?

Dr. Claw: Well, Mr. Spectrum.
Dr. Spectrum: Doctor Spectrum!
Claw: Don't talk back!!

Chief Quimby: Congratulations, Gadget. I don't know how you did it.
Gadget: Thanks, Chief. Uh, what did I do?